5 BIBLE VERSES ABOUT MARRIAGE AND MARRIED LIFE

Marriage is a beautiful sacrament where God’s Love is made more manifest in our world, through the vows and lives of the bride and groom. The Catechism of the Catholic Church, Part 2, Section 2, Article 7 is a great place to understand more about this vocation, and yet, it is something that those of us who are married will continue to learn about for a lifetime. God’s Grace is essential in this vocation, as it also is essential for all other Holy Sacraments.

God’s Word is key to establishing a lifelong foundation as husband and wife, for God’s word is meant to breathe life into us. And, I don’t know about you, but honestly, being an imperfect person can be pretty tiring, and I know I need more of God, every day; more of God so I can love my spouse and family better, every day.

Here are the TOP 5 recommended BIBLE VERSES ABOUT MARRIAGE AND MARRIED LIFE:

1. JOHN 2: 1-12

   The Wedding at Cana. It is perhaps surprising, but of course intentional and divinely orchestrated, that Jesus’ first public sign, the first of seven, would be at a wedding. What does that tell you about the importance of the celebration of such a holy sacrament?

2. ECCLESIASTES 4: 8-10

   “ […] those all alone with no companion, with neither child nor sibling—with no end to all their toil, and no satisfaction from riches. For whom do I toil and deprive myself of good things? This also is vanity and a bad business. Two are better than one: They get a good wage for their toil. If the one falls, the other will help the fallen one. But woe to the solitary person! If that one should fall, there is no other to help.”

   The Bible presents a practical presentation of why getting married and staying married is important. Lest we remind you, man was never meant to be alone. And for good measure, remember, you are never alone <3

3. HEBREWS 13: 1-6

“Brothers and sisters, let mutual love continue.

Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels.

Be mindful of prisoners as if sharing their imprisonment, and of the ill-treated as of yourselves, for you also are in the body.

Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled, for God will judge the immoral and adulterers.

Let your life be free from love of money but be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never forsake you or abandon you.

Thus we may say with confidence:

“The Lord is my helper, [and] I will not be afraid. What can anyone do to me?””

— Hebrews 13:1-6

4. EPHESIANS 5: 21-33

Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. So [also] husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “For this reason a man shall leave [his] father and [his] mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church. In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.

5. 1 CORINTHIANS 13

Of course, the whole thing. All of it. #GOALS. But especially verses 4-7:

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I once was asked to try this exercise and now I challenge you to try it!

Take 1 Corinthians 13, and as you read it, replace the word “Love” with your name. Then, read it again. How are we stacking up to what Love should be? God is Love, so are we aiming for God’s goals of Love? Especially since God has asked us very clearly to Love our Neighbor as ourselves. KYRIE ELEISON. That one is very important.

Preparing for Parenthood

Hi there! It has been quite a while since we have updated anything on any of our sites, but with such milestones on the way for us, I thought it would be just the perfect time.

COVID-19 continues on in our world, and this has impacted how we look at and do everything - from work, family, friends, and even faith. I don’t know about you, but if it weren’t for faith - in something more than what I can see - these recent days would have really dragged me down. That’s not to say, that we haven’t had days when we’re down in the dumps, but faith has been a strong foundation, to continue on. Faith in something greater, and a Hope for the future (Jeremiah 29:11).

This last year and a half has been very trying for us, for all of us, with much loss. With loss for ourselves, we welcomed a child for a very short time into our lives, but now we celebrate him as he lives in Heaven (St. Paxton James, pray for us!) (Stephanie wears a Lady of Sorrows pendant every day to remember this life that moves us still so deeply) ; with loss of many kinds for our loved ones, who have trusted us to keep them in our prayers, as they keep us in our prayers.

With that, we have continued to take every day, in the only way we know how: one day at a time. We still get up and have our morning breakfast together. We still pray our family rosary once a month. We still go and take our sweet little dog for walks and enjoy her innocence. We still go to work. We still do our chores. We still go to church and worship our God. We still talk about the future. This has been all too important.

As we continued on, we also continued to still try for a baby to stay with us. And to our surprise, we learned that you can’t just have a baby. Even with careful planning through Natural Family Planning, even when what we were taught in high school was that if you so much as kissed a boy, you’d get pregnant. Well, people, let us tell you, this is not the case! Those were lies. And we’ve been learning and re-learning Love, and each other, through this process. God really has a plan! and you can’t rush God’s timing. So we’ve also often come to the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to learn the difference. Amen.

Yes. simple. but powerful. Like Love.

And people, let us tell you, there is a rainbow after the rain! There is a future and a hope. For you. And for us. And we are so thrilled to share that as Timothy and I are approaching our 2 year wedding anniversary, and as I entered into another decade of my life, that we are expecting a little one, all our own. Our son. We praise God!

We are so grateful for these moments, no matter how long we get to live them out for. Life is short, and Love is worth it, right? Thank you for our photographer, Michelle Dorothy right here in Connecticut, for capturing some pretty special images for us, during such a meaningful and special time in our lives. We are happy to share some of our favorites with you!

With that said, we have definitely been on a photography pause, as we prepare for the arrival of our baby boy. We are so incredibly grateful for the inquiries we have received and will be happy to take on wonderful clients again in September/October 2021. Life is quite an adventure!

For closing thoughts, our hope is that this inspires you - to remember to hope for the future. To remember that circumstances change, and there is no need to fear. To remember that although our experiences in life can be fleeting, it is important to live them out loud. And to keep Faith, for where there is Faith, there is Love, and where there is Love, there is LIFE.

Marriage > Wedding day

Did you know that “The wedding industry generates in the United States over 60 billion dollars a year in wedding and ceremony related expenses (this figure does not include the honeymoon, which is estimated to be between 4 and 8 billion dollars a year).” If you’re like Steph and love data, here is a great resource to look at for a 2020 Wedding Report by Weddingwire (a very popular wedding planning website).

Now, let that sink in. Over 60 BILLION. That is a crazy amount of money! *thoughts wander as to what we would even do with that amount of money*

Billions…

• That’s for flowers

• That’s for the attire

• For the venue

• in some cases, for the ceremony and officiant

• for the food and catering! (everybody’s got to eat!)

• for all the thingsss, including invitations

• not to mention all the services:

  • music (live band or DJ?)

  • videography

  • hair and make up

  • transportation;

  • and our favorite, photography

…and all of that is just for one day (or in some cultures, for one event that can last some days).

Even just writing that list made me stress out. again. Yikes.

It is insane how much time and preparation and money go into one day (God bless the patience of a wedding planner!!). And guess what? A wedding day is definitely worth celebrating and doing it up! However, we want to pose a question here: how many couples dedicate that much time and effort, if not more, into preparing for life after wedding day? For the actual marriage? You know, the whole “till death do us part” thing?

Too many couples who are planning to get married, across generations, are swept up in the final presentation of their wedding day. They plan to get married and prepare for the wedding first- forgetting that happily ever after is not the end goal. They don’t always plan to stay married. Which is heartbreaking and why we want to write about it. One of the purpose’s for marriage is to prepare for life, and to live life together—Through sickness and in health; Through good times and in bad; Through the highs and the lows, through all the moments in between. That my friends, is bigger than any wedding. That is so big and important, that I dare to say, it is of a divine nature and one of the highest levels of importance.

Marriage is meant to last a life-time. This is possible, truly, with God at the center.

I mean think about it: isn’t it pretty much impossible, as a human, to love an imperfect person? How would we as humans even begin to love and dedicate our entire being and existence to another person, who is flawed? How would we, as humans with weaknesses and imperfections (a.k.a flaws), be able to possibly love, entirely, another human person? We, of our own nature, really could not do that, or do it well enough to sustain for a lifetime. In order to Love, it is a true gift, a Grace. And this comes directly from God. God is Love, after all.

So preparing for marriage - that’s where it matters. And that is where the couple soon to be married, should be investing their time, together, and to invest their time in first. Wedding planning can be fun and bringing your vision for your wedding day to life, is exciting. However, I want to urge you to remember the whole point: marriage.

We will share a bit on our marriage preparation experience. We feel so blessed that in our Catholic faith, we are required to prepare for marriage for at least 6 months, before we can get married and have our wedding ceremony or reach our wedding day.

• We attended an Engaged Couples conference (another option was taking marriage preparation classes over some months). Here is a link for the availability of conferences/classes in 2020. (This link is for those available in the Archdiocese of Hartford, Connecticut)

• We met with our Priest regularly to counsel us into what were those important areas to consider for marriage. Our sessions followed the outline from the workbook “Perspectives on Marriage”. This included providing us a safe and structured time to talk about the important issues, such as:

  • communication

  • conflict resolution

  • understanding our families of origin

  • our hopes and dreams for our marriage and family

  • intimacy (emotional and physical)

  • faith formation

  • potential pitfalls and how to avoid and overcome them, together (for example: infidelity and mistrust)

  • planning to grow our family

  • finances and budgeting

  • household and home management

• We even read some books - really! crazy, I know haha- (which we are still reading, because learning never stops). Some of these books on marriage and married life include:

  • “The Joy of Love” by Pope Francis

  • “Things I’d wish I’d known before we got married” by Gary Chapman

  • “Sacred Sex” by Tony Evans

For something to be successful, you have to put the work into it. This is the same for marriage. It requires work. What’s amazing is that, just like for becoming parents, you can never be fully prepared - but it is so important to prepare, even when we know that Life will happen. This means that there will always be things out of our control and Life will continue to surprise you and challenge you. Yet, the wise person is prepared as best as possible.

As you prepare for your wedding day, together, remember to continually prepare for your marriage—together and forever is the goal. And together, especially with God, Love can make it through anything. Love bears all things, believes all things, and endures all things. Love is what remains.

I'm Engaged! ... Now, what? | What to do after getting engaged

He finally asked! He popped the question! He asked me to marry him!

I’m finally engaged!! * cue the single ladies song no more ‘cause he put a ring on it!! *

First, you may be thinking of telling absolutely everyone you know. But we recommend keeping it to yourselves for at least some hours (maybe even 12-24 hours). Why? I want to shout it off the top of a mountain!!

we get it. But, This is your beautiful news that only you both and God share. Relish in it, enjoy it! Everyone else can wait. Remember, this is not about everyone else, or their thoughts, or showing off your ring or proposal story. This is about something bigger. So, after getting engaged, you may be thinking, now what?? Well, we are going to share our tips on what to do after engagement (based a little a lot of what we did and how we approached our engagement).

1. Enjoy it

First, we encourage you both to just be. Cry. Hug, Kiss. Pray. Hold hands. Take it in: this means that soon, you will be a family. Your soon to be spouse and you are going to commit to each other in a whole more meaningful way— a way that means, truly, forever. We waited about 24 hours before telling everyone, and during that time, it was so amazing to hold such a beautiful truth, all our own.

2. Share the good news!

Next, after you enjoy just being engaged to each other, and you are both ready to, go ahead and tell everyone who matters! It may be tempting to go on social media right away and change your status to Engaged and share some cute pictures (which is totally okay to do!!). But before you get there, we encourage you both to make meaningful phone calls and visits to those people who matter—to those people who love and support you both and your relationship. Telling them with your own voice, and hearing the excitement from them, makes it all more tangible and special.

We both told our parents first before anyone else (turns out Stephanie’s parents already knew, because Tim had asked them for their permission! *awwww). Then came close relatives and close friends. We think it was about a couple of days before we even posted on social media about it.

3. Start planning the wedding

Partner for life. check. ring. check. tell everyone who matters. check. now.. planning… ehhh?? Kinda overwhelming, yes. We were there and it could have totally been super duper overwhelming. But when it came to planning, we made sure to do everything together. After all, two heads are better than one, and remember, this is now going to be about the both of you, forever, till death do you part. Serious stuff, deserving of dedicated attention from both.

As photographers ourselves, and being very visual people, we value photography. With that, this was on the top of our list for finding the right photographer. Along with the church! Of course, every step of the way, we prayed and made sure it was agreed upon by both of us.

Then, came venue, bridal gown and groom’s suit, music, and other details, with the very last of the details being flowers, hair and makeup, and transportation.

If we could have done anything differently, we would have made sure to include a videographer in our budget—again, since we are both so visual. A helpful tool we used for wedding planning ourselves was a wonderful timeline and wedding planning planner given to us by a friend. Another tip: pick a day of the week to dedicate to planning, so it doesn’t consume your thoughts or time. After all, it is going to be wonderful, no matter what it looks like, because on that one day, you and your best friend, will be one before God and your family and friends.

4. Start planning the marriage

Oh yeah. really this is number one. plan for your marriage. Together. This is actually the most important thing to do when you are engaged!! The wedding is just one day, but marriage will be for many days, a lifetime in fact. And if you are like us, marriage is forever. What God has brought together, no man can tear apart.

Drop us a line! We’d love to hear your engagement story and help with any ideas as you prepare for the next steps.

You are in our prayers! and congratulations!

What is Love? How to prepare for Lifelong Marriage

We love, not because we necessarily know how, but because it is a necessity of the human condition. Our humanity derives its meaning from Love, and to Love. 

"All you need is Love," right?

Yet what happens when you have found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? First, a huge congratulations! Celebrate and rejoice! It is hard to find the one whom you are compatible with.

You love this person, your best friend, and they are your (soon-to-be) spouse, and you dream of starting a perfect life together... 

.. but If you are anything like us, you know that life is not perfect and does not go as planned. Love is not a walk in the park. Rather, Love is holding tight in the storm. Love is not just feelings. Love is a decision-- an action, a person. Love is freeing, and this is powerful to remember because, feelings are fleeting and can bind you. Feelings can change based on so many factors, like time of the month, weather, financial stability or other stressors. However, Love is beyond all that. Love is honoring your commitments (even when you don't feel like it).

So, for our (soon-to-be) married couples, go back in time, and remember some of your firsts: what happened during the first fight? What happened when the bills started piling? When the late nights came working double shifts, whether at work or because of your crying child in the middle of the night? What happened when sickness arrived unexpectedly? What happened when disappointments seemed to loom over your dreams? 

Love, the decision, was and is what brings you through. *high five your best friend right now (or text them a heart emoji, let them know you are a team and there's nothing you can't handle.. together! --do it, we'll wait) 

If you are like us, choosing to Love in Faith is the best thing you can do for your relationship and your marriage. So, never forget, that it's always been a choice, and Love is always worth it. 

With that said, here is our (humble) list of seven important qualities and actions to help prepare for a lifelong, faith-filled, Catholic marriage: 

1. Vulnerability

Saying "I do," and reciting your vows is serious business. It means this life is no longer about me. It is now we, and what we do for us. Marriage is not a 'one-and-done' type of deal. It is a daily commitment and requires selflessness. This includes admitting when you're wrong, when you need help, and coming to terms with imperfections (for both of you). Being vulnerable with each other will help you bring the best out of each other, kind of like the 'pruning' process that God does with all believers.

“He takes away every branch in me that does not bear fruit, and every one that does he prunes* so that it bears more fruit. (John 15)”

— http://www.usccb.org/bible/john/15

2. Prayer

It is already important to start, continue, and end each day with prayer; This is all the more important in your marriage. Why? Because it "Takes Three to Get Married" and prayer is a way to stay rooted; for you and your relationship to endure--through the inevitable trials and storms of Life. Prayer will never hurt, it will only help. 

There are many prayers you can recite together, including the Rosary, and The Liturgy of the Hours, like morning and evening prayer. Of course, you can also just speak directly to God right where you are. If you need a little more inspiration on where to start, here is a beautiful marriage prayer from our friends at catholicmom.com: 

“Dear Most Holy Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, thank You for the profound gift of the Sacrament of Marriage. Thank You for the magnificent gift of my spouse whom Your perfect providence planned for me from all eternity. May I always treat him (her) as royalty, with all the perfect honor, respect, and dignity he (she) deserves. Help me to be selfless in my marriage, to pour everything out for my spouse at all times, holding nothing back, expecting nothing in return, but recognizing and being grateful for all he (she) pours out for me and our family every day, and it is much! Please strengthen and protect our marriage and all marriages. Help us to pray together daily. May we trust You completely in every way, as You deserve. Please make our marriage fruitful and open to Your most perfect will in the privilege of co-creating and nurturing life. Help us to build a strong, secure, loving, faith-filled family, the domestic church. Dear Most Blessed Virgin Mary, we confidently entrust our marriage to your care. Keep our family always under your mantle. We have complete trust in You, Lord Jesus, that You are always with us, and are constantly seeing to the very best for us, bringing a tremendous good out of everything, including the crosses you have permitted in our lives. Dear (spouse’s name): You and I are one. I promise I will always love you, and always be true to you. I will never abandon you. I will lay down my life for you. With God and you in my life I have everything. Thank You, Jesus. You are the ultimate “Pourer.” We love you. Amen”

3. Forgiveness.

 Love is unconditional, and this is what God gives us and asks of us, in and for Love. Did your husband forget to put the toilet seat down... again? Did your wife forget to tell you that she appreciates you? Did your spouse let you down in any way? Three times this week? Three times in the last hour? Well, Mistakes are a part of life, and when these opportunities for forgiveness come about, we need to put our pride aside, and do the only thing necessary: forgive. No matter what. No strings attached. No withholding love because they let you down. Of course, every situation is different, and some require longer periods of healing, but forgiveness is the first and most important step to build up your marriage, and fulfill your vows (in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, remember?).

4. Honesty

What do we know about honesty? We know that without it, it hurts. Being lied to, by the person you love, is like a stab in the heart--and not being able to trust the person you commit the rest of your life to, is a mountain that seems impossible to climb. However, honesty requires vulnerability, and vulnerability requires letting go of pride. Honesty also requires faith--to believe in the other person's unconditional love for me. And isn't that scary? It requires faith to believe that someone loves me for me. Warts and all, so to speak. Honesty begins with self, and is vital for any relationship to survive, thrive, and endure. 

It is important to note, too, that honesty is easier when you know and believe that your best friend, partner, and spouse, is on your team--that they care about what you have to say, and listen to you, with full attention. Honesty is a two way street, and both actions and words, can express if you are being and living honest with each other.  

5. Sacrifice

Oh, what? I can't buy myself whatever I want because I need to make sure I remember my family? But those new Jimmy Choos or Rolex are looking mighty tempting right? Yeah, no. Don't be discouraged, however, because in the end, it is important to value what matters. Luxuries and little extras will fade and you can't take them to heaven! But the Love of family endures everything. Like those hugs from behind. Or the kisses on the forehead. Or the warmth and safety of their hand in yours. Or the sweet laughter you share. That means so much more.

So, husbands, maybe it's time to give your lovely wife the day off to go pamper herself, while you run the errands. And, wives, maybe it's time you watch that new Star Wars movie with your hubby because he loves it (Just us? maybe, but we hope we are being clear: ) Love requires sacrifice.

Again, when you say "I do," your vocation becomes your new priority. That means putting our needs before my own pleasures. The great thing is that you are not alone, and when you really Love, it is never a chore. Your heart seeks to show and give love, always. Loving your spouse and family well, without reservation or holding back, will always increase your joy. The more Love you give, the more Love you get. Love never runs out. 

6. Communication

Everything we've mentioned so far can only come about when communication is clear. This includes, putting the phone down from screen time, to have more face-to-face time with the person you love. There is nothing more reassuring than knowing that you are being acknowledged and received well, by the person you most love, respect, and admire.

It is maybe more difficult for us to communicate nowadays, with so much getting lost in translation, for example, through texts, without facial expressions and hearing the tones of their voice. However, communicating is an enduring necessity for your relationship. And yes, this means, being vulnerable and honest, to sincerely and respectfully communicate your wants and needs; and more importantly, listening and receiving what your (soon-to-be) spouse is communicating.

@2018 Glorious Moments Photography

We have worked on communicating from the beginning of our dating relationship to now, refining it during our engagement, and we hope to continue growing in our marriage. Something we do is making sure to say grace before every meal we share, and thanks to our wonderful wedding photographer, we also now make sure to play a game. Really! We take time to learn more about each other and communicate after every meal. It's been a simple and easy way to grow in this skill as a couple. Plus, what has helped us is remembering that we are on the same team, that we want what's best for each other, and learning that we communicate differently. Have you taken the 5 Love Languages quiz yet? This is really important to know how you each communicate and receive/express love. 

The fact is this: you will both need to communicate through all stages of your relationship: courtship, trials, marriage, hopes, and sufferings. If communicating is rocky right now, don't worry, you can always work on it, if you are both willing (commitment, remember?)! Communication and Love are effortful and totally worth it. Take the time you need to build this very important skill. 

7. Grace

If you are like us, you believe that Marriage is a holy sacrament, a union between husband and wife before God. A commitment for life. There is nothing else in the world like this, and we are so blessed to be journeying towards a life of marriage! 

We are also astutely aware that we can not do this on our own. It's nearly impossible to love someone who is imperfect and flawed. Love, in this sense, is a miracle! It is a miracle that we can learn to see an imperfect person, perfectly. This is pure grace. 

“You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. ”

— Sam Keen

We cling to God's Grace and Goodness, and aim to keep Christ at the center. Why? Because we are not perfect. A wonderful priest told us once that "In relationships, we often tend to place the other person at the center of our world. This can be problematic, because that person is not perfect. But when Jesus Christ is at the center of our relationships, we then have access to pure and perfect love, forgiveness, mercy, and compassion--all of which are necessary for healthy relationships to succeed." 

Life is too short and Love is too important. Don't waste either.

with scenescerity,

Tim+Steph